Nature vs. Nurture

Intimately speaking...


Dealing with emotions is always a very, very, very, veeeeeery sensitive circumstance. Allow me to repeat that, it is a VE-RY SEN-SI-TIVE circumstance. It's often said that women are emotional creatures while men are more logical thinkers - is this true, who knows? Do I think so...from life experience, YES; however, in conversation with lady friends of old and new, two points continue to be brought up:

1) It is within a woman's nature to nurture (hence the emotional abundance)
2) Men are just as logical as women are

If it is within a woman's nature to nurture (as stated by said lady/ies in said conversation(s)) then I think nature will run its course and the human interaction will take place according to that perspective. What is overlooked, though, is where the woman is attempting to nurture.

::pause::
This is the point at which my maleness takes full effect
::unpause::

Do not, once again, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to nurture a man (in the sense of maleness, not maturity, because that point can and will be argued if need be) that has not expressed any interest in wanting to be nurtured. Of course, the question is then begged, "What do you mean by nurturing?" Could a friendly gesture be perceived as nurturing...yes, anything can be perceived as anything, but it's not simply a matter of who's perceiving it, as much as it is a matter of why they're perceiving it as such.

If a man says that he has no desire to engage in an exclusive, intimate relationship with not only a particular woman, but women in general, and that fact has been clearly stated numerous times, why is it so surprising to find that he remains true to that sentiment despite any verbal, physical or otherwise interactions with whomever he pleases. In other words, "Because I've stated my stance on my relationship with you (you being whatever woman/women at the time), I do not expect there to be any qualms whenever I decide to think/speak/act according to my being, and my being alone." Furthermore, the perception of a woman's actions are based upon her knowledge of the man's life circumstances, which means, (a) any action from the woman will be accepted as a sign of friendship and (b) in the case of said situation, ladies, you should not attempt to nurture where nurturing (beyond that of a friend, within reason) is not wanted; leaving you to be resentful of the time "wasted" on said gentleman. If you cannot naturally be as you are, in the very essence of my perception of the word, you have committed sin against yourself; you have acted opposite of who/what you believe yourself to be.

Moral of the story: you cannot have what someone is not willing to give you

Point 1 = Complete!



I phrased my second point as I did to show that men think the way women think. That is to say, men "think logically" because that's what they "choose" to do.


*think logically - not taking emotions into account as often as women do
*choose - perceived action that is often times not contextualized within the concept of socialization
(I will leave the socio-philosophical argument at that)


The often over-looked discussion of this point revolves around the simple notion that men are women, women are men, and both women and men are people!!! I refuse to believe that there are no women who do not act on the basis of emotion. No matter the percentage, they exist, so despite its nature as an anomaly, the truth is, no one ever wants to acknowledge the "crude/vulgar/misogynistic" ways of men being played out by women. As trite as it might sound, these are the social realms and margins within which we live our lives, more commonly known as labels. I have lady friends who are just as nonchalant about exclusive, intimate relationships, while being enraptured in exclusively intimate relations, as the men they're engaging in them with. So while some women feel that their nature is to nurture, others feel that they will nurture their nature.

Moral of the story: People should do what they want, however they please, and stop blaming others for their emotional sorrows (and by people, I mean women)

Point 2 = Complete!



I initially started this post to try and address a more personal situation, but I figured I'd just attempt to touch on the larger matters at hand. Hopefully it comes across the way I intended, because I'm not going back to read it in order to make sure. How about you just let me know!



--- ygb